Have you been corded to your past relationship(s)?
by Danielle Tilotta, Third Eye Mama
From an energetic perspective, there are three things that are integral to maintaining a healthy body and state of mind: 1) adequate energy flowing inward 2) proper releasing of unnecessary energy 3) proper energy flow. If any one of these three is out of balance, a number of energetic disturbances can result.
When our energy isn’t flowing properly, a part of you will feel “stuck” – like your progress has been halted and no matter what you do, it feels like you cannot move forward.
If this sounds familiar, you may be experiencing the energetic phenomenon called “cording.” A cord acts somewhat like a leash between you and a situation, environment, memory, or person keeping you energetically bonded. The cord is a result from a perceived need to be attached.
There are a number of different types of cords, each serving a unique purpose. All types of cording essentially do the same thing: they keep you attached to something or someone in a negative way. When cords are discovered, healed, and released, the result is a greater ability to move forward in life easily.
Below are three ways to know if an energetic cord may be holding you back:
1. Feeling like you can’t move on after a break up.
There are many reasons for why we form cords to an ex-partner. Blaming yourself or that other person for the break up, feeling like you need that person in your life, regret or shame around the relationship, or even wanting to make them jealous can create negative cords between you. These cords will make it difficult for you to move on and will drain energy from you. It takes two people to form a cord but only one person to cut it. In order to release a relationship cord you must determine your reason for forming it, work out any emotions that may still be stuck, and give yourself permission to move forward and leave this person behind.
2. Blaming a person/event/situation for your current reality
Playing the victim will create cords because it means you’re abdicating responsibility in some way. When you do this, you disempower yourself and are metaphorically held hostage by a particular person or event. An example of this is blaming your job or partner for making you feel miserable rather than taking responsibility for your own happiness. In this case, the only way this cord can be released is by effectively dealing with the trauma of the relationship or event and taking responsibility for your actions so that you can let the memory go.
3. “Over-giving” until you’re depleted
This is really a form of martyrdom. Giving excessive amounts of energy away without giving back to yourself is a definite way to create cording. When you have the “give, give, give” mentality with no “taking back” to balance the equation, you will attract a lot of people that will lap up all of that extra energy without giving anything back to you in return. When you find one of these people, remember that you attracted them into your experience. They are there as a result of your desire to “over give,” as is the cord that formed between you. In order to release this cord you must be willing to alter your behaviour by giving back to yourself, saying “no” to those that walk all over you, and giving only what you are able to. If necessary, you may also need to let go of the relationship/career/situation if it is still toxic after your behaviour has been changed.
In all cases, taking responsibility is the first step to releasing a negative cord. You must realize that on some level, you felt like you “needed” that person/situation and that was why the cord was formed. Sometimes we “need” a crappy job to justify our feelings of unhappiness or we will “need” the drama of an ex-partner to distract us from our fear of moving on with life. Cords, just like any other type of energetic disruption, are there to serve us by teaching us something. So, if you believe you may have a few making you feel held back, take the time to journal your feelings about the situation/person/event to determine why you may have felt like you “needed” to attach yourself to that energy in the first place. This offers a great opportunity to learn about your fears, your strengths, and the joy of taking responsibility.