Stress happens when your actions don’t match your values

I learned an amazing thing today at a virtual conference. I’m not sure why I never thought about it that way before but it makes sense.
Stress happens when your actions don’t match your values.

Stress also happens when your values collide with each other, such as you value adventure but you are struggling with finances, you become stressed because then you have to choose.

Ask yourself, in a little worksheet or blog:

• When your values collided, what did you do?
• How did you feel?
• Will you be doing this again?
• What are the short-term consequences of this?
• Long term, does choosing this action keep you stuck where you are now?

As an empath, it is difficult to navigate the emotions that go alongside our values and the stresses when things aren’t going as planned. At this point, I can only recommend that acknowledge the emotions and then release them. (Once you make sure they are yours and not someone else’s of course). We are always going to have emotions but we don’t need to let them rule us.

As we evaluate our values and goals, we need to often be aware of what other people want and if they are moving us towards our goals and values or if we are going along for the ride for their goals and values.

When this happens, we must reevaluate our lives towards what is most important to us, no matter how hard it is. There comes a time when one must stop with the excuses and dive in.

Living a values-driven life helps us live healthier lives, more fulfilling, less stressful, less depression, pain and anxiety.

If you jump to the section, I have listed some possible values. If you want to delve further into this part of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. 

Also, here’s a video by Therapy in Action

There is a lot of great free information available if you wish to explore more.

After attending the presentation by Dr. Luana Marques, I had to check out her book. This blog is based on her book with some additional research to include empath specific information.